Being returned was the beginning of a dark time. I began running away, Over and over From so many secrets.
Until at fourteen I found a hiding place where my parents couldn’t find me.
In my MIND only… home was not safe. But there are sharks outside lurking. I spent the next three years state to state, back and forth.... Utah, California and Nevada.
Many people tried to talk to me on the streets. Warnings, preaching, food, cards, prayers.
And then at 17 - all those efforts, All those prayers Found me On a California bus.
A New Chapter began.
I called my dad and mom and came home.
A life WRECKED - to parents who loved me.
With dark years ahead. They would watch their daughter Suffer nightmares, addictions, broken relationships,
Until Jesus’ mercy found me and saved me from myself.
Today I am healing. I am able to share my life experience and mentor other survivors.
I use creativity, poetry and movement to coach those who are dealing With trauma because of abuse and exploitation.
I would like to end by reading one of my poems, titled, “Until I Dance.”
This moment Is just A sentence of my story.
Here and now My senses Tell a story.
Not the story I want, But the story I know.
My eyes are open to the world, but closed. Inside.. A mask.
My ears, they hear What you are saying But I hear Inside Intelligible Sounds and words.
The pain, suffocating Days without end Yes, my senses SHOUT a story Yet another voice Says THIS isn’t meant to be Somehow I will Move and stand
What I need is a song My heart, to feel My eyes, to see My ears, to hear
To move is LIFE Which feels like a race But in truth Is a DANCE
To REMOVE the masks I learn to move and remove Masks of fear Masks of hate Masks of lies, abuse Love and loss
There is GRACE Right here, right now With each step To move until I DANCE
My prayer is for all those who need rescue. My THANKS forever for all those Who are God’s hands and feet, who will rescue.
Today I can say What happened to me Is NOT my identity.
Stephanie
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